My First Mother’s Day

Reflections on my very first Mother’s Day

“Teach your daughters to worry less about fitting into glass slippers and more about shattering glass ceilings.”

I’ve always understood the significance of the women in my family.  In fact, I built an entire brand around it. Each woman has made such an incredible impact on me that I couldn’t fathom being nearly as competent a person as I am.  While I’ve always recognized the strength of these women and their impact on my life, I have never felt the weight of having to be one of those women until now.

When my Baby Cakes Harmony entered the world in February, I felt brand new.  I was exploring new territory, and it was scary as hell. No joke.  At the moment she was born, I realized I was responsible for not only raising and rearing her but serving as a model for the type of woman I wanted my daughter to become.  

While the former is so important, the later role as an example was anxiety inducing. Every moment since then, I have tried to think about what would make the most imprint on her life one day.  I’ve realized that the best example I can set for her is pursuing my dreams with everything I have.

The downer is the mommy guilt associated with working and taking care of a baby is real.  I’ve just gotten back into the swing of things, and I can’t tell you how hard it is to leave my baby for a dinner, a meeting, a photoshoot and recently two work trips back to back to LA and Salt Lake City without her by my side.  Knowing that I’m setting the standard by going after my dream full force is the only thing that helps me with the guilt.

I’d often heard of Mother’s giving up their dreams for their children. It’s just as much an injustice to your child as it is to you. I know that telling a child to dream versus showing her how to dream is the very difference in why I turned out the way I did.  I saw my mother and father making the impossible happen. I saw it with my own two eyes.  I had personal heroes right in my home each and everyday.

The funny thing about mommy guilt is I know it is totally self imposed.  My baby is incredibly healthy and happy.  She doesn’t feel neglected. I never did while my mom worked 9 to 5 everyday. But the feelings are still real.  I remember asking myself, “What if she calls for me, and I’m not there?” “What if she needs me, and I’m not there?”

If there is one thing that I know for sure that I want for my Baby Cakes, it’s for her to know her worth and the importance of her dreams.  I want her to know that anything she wants is within reach. This is precisely why I take Harmony to as many work functions and shoots as I possibly can.  

Because even at this early age, I want her to be immersed in what I considered my first baby, my business.  I want her to see a woman striving for the best and going after a dream with all of her might and gusto.  I want her to witness a woman boss making money moves and loving and laughing throughout the entire journey. I want her to know that every little and big thing is possible.  And while I sift through the emotions of having to work while being the best mommy I can ever be, I know that showing her this example will make me the best woman I can be and Harmony the best woman she can be one day.  It definitely worked for me.

Photos by Ali Stone

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