TIME PASSES BUT THINGS REMAIN THE SAME
A recent visit to see my Big Mama and Big Daddy resulted in a huge introspection I didn’t anticipate. Since I was a young girl I have been going down South to Winona, Mississippi to visit them. The nostalgia always feels the same even though things have changed. Back then, after a long nine hour drive, seeing the Piggly Wiggly from my window was the surefire sign we were almost there. Now the old school stores I remembered then are replaced with a Waffle House, Sonic and KFC. Winona has truly stepped it up.
However that quaint country feel that made Winona feel so unique is still lurking underneath the cracks if you look hard enough. This last time, I felt a true attachment to being with my grandparents, parents, brother, aunt and my husband for a couple of days. There was such joy in my heart and honestly a bit of sadness. I realized that at some point these days would come to an end.
GROWING OLDER & PASSING THE TORCH
My grandparents are both in their 90s. I could see their energy wasn’t at its peak, naps were getting longer, and some memories were fading. So much of who I am is because of them. I realized it was hard for me to face that the grandparents I once knew were gone. The baking and cooking days with my grandmother faded a while ago because I mostly want her to rest when I visit. The mornings I remembered where she would be up before anyone else making homemade biscuits, bacon, sausage, grits, rice and eggs were long gone. Now it is us that is making the breakfast and waking her up to eat.
STILL CREATING NEW MEMORIES
My grandfather is now in a wheelchair with hair as white as snow. His memory is still as sharp as ever. I pray I have a memory like his one day when I reach his age. I find myself asking him lots of questions about how he grew up, what his job was like, what he remembered about farming and life in general because I’m so anxious to know it all and to experience it through his eyes.
I also realized that maybe I wasn’t as young as I always thought I was. I am 36 years old after all. What was I expecting? That my grandparents would never grow old? That I would never grow up? These realities are starting to plague me everyday. I am starting to live in a space of gratitude that I can’t begin to describe. I cherish these moments. I relive them and play them back in my mind because I don’t know when that might be all I have to hold on to.
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Hello Lil cuz, I Just wanted to say congratulations to you and your family. You have trusted the process and Our God has given you your award (your very own Baby Cakes). Enjoy. Please tell Aunt Mag and Uncle Sid I said hello. I have my own memories with them and my mom whenever we came to visit them. Love you all.
Ask as many questions as you can think of, and ask your other relatives if they have more you can ask. My grands and parents are gone now, and rarely does a day go by when I don’t think of something I wish I could ask, but will never be answered now. None of us like to think ahead to those days when we won’t be able to ask, so you are way ahead of the game. The worst ???’s are the ones I had no idea I needed to ask!
I totally agree!
Have you ever thought of recording these Q&A’s that you have with your grandfather, so you will always have those memories? Also, the same with your grandmother. It’s something that I wished I’d done with my older relatives and even my mother before she passed. The stories they all would tell!
YES! I actually did. I have video with them and sat with them to talk about their childhoods. It was amazing!
Life is so precious! My grandparents died before I could get to know them and for your grandparents to be in their 90s and functional is truly a blessing.
Yes I seriously feel so so blessed!
Somehow the part of growing older that should be most obvious is also the hardest to wrap your head around…actually growing older. It’s amazing that your grandparents are still doing so well and I hope they will for awhile still! <3
My story is so similar to yours, but flipped! I grew up in Grenada, MS, right next to Winona. But my grandparents lived just south of Chicago. I know that nine hour drive well!! They passed away nine years ago and I get so nostalgic during the summer months. I miss all those summer vacations spent at their house. I love that you still make time to come down here and visit them.